Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
