a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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