If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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