i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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