i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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