Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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