She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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