found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
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I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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