I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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