I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The struggles of a small town man whore
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
