You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
