YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
