i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
