ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
