well you can't waste a boner
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
