I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
