he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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