Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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