when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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