And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
