he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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