I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
