Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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