Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
