He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
