I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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