Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
40s are totally the cure
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize