I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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