Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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