the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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