dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
