hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
where am i from again
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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