just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
