Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager