He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."