yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
wow bdsm is so cute
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
