I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
