3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
