i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
