she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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