So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I supernannyed him into submission
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
