She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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