miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
