careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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