one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
