That's intense
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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