I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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