My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
