Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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