Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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