So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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