Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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