my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
