i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
