u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
