ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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