Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize