she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
