I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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