I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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