I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
