My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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