Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Help. Why am I so naked?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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