don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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