pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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